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Threesomes are an extremely common fantasy (if not the most common), for both men However, despite this desire, according to a 2017 study, only 10% of women and 18% of men have engaged in a threesome. If you fall into the group that has always thought about a threesome but has yet to turn the fantasy into a reality, read on for my essential rules for having a successful first threesome.

First, if the threesome idea was sparked by boredom in the bedroom, into the mix disincentives you from putting energy and creativity into your sex life with your partner. You’re no longer working to up your game and figure out new fantasies to explore, techniques to try, and preferences your partner may have that you haven’t yet probed. While a threesome may be exciting initially, it does not solve the longer-term issue of how to keep things fresh and become a better lover.

The moment one person becomes uncomfortable, they should have the right to end the threesome, no questions asked. One way to do this is by creating a safety word with your boyfriend. This is something that either of you can say that indicates that you’re no longer feeling comfortable with the situation. Discuss in advance that this may be a real possibility that neither partner can roll their eyes at.

1. First, think about why you want to have a threesome.

Why were the online participants more likely to have had threesome experience? In part, it may be due to the fact that they tended to be older.