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Getting a period made me feel like less of a man, even though my teenage self already identified as male. I, too, used to associate periods solely with cisgender women. In my eyes, a period was the opposite of masculine, and so my ego and internalized expectations of male dominance were enough to convince me to bottle it up and speak about it with no one. How could I explain that this was happening to me? When I think back on it, most of the negativity and stigma surrounding periods that I faced came from my own head. I was uncomfortable in my skin, so I silenced myself.
Fortunately, I didn't also have to deal with the chest pain and swelling that many others experience with their period each month. For trans men, this can be an added challenge that makes you even more hyperaware of the parts of your body that don't necessarily feel like "you."
That's not to say that having breasts didn't affect my day-to-day life back then. Going to the gym with chest binders on (to strap down and minimize the appearance of breasts) was uncomfortable, and it made it a struggle to breathe at times. Getting changed in a locker room afterwards wasn't nice either. I avoided swimming and other activities where someone may see or touch that part of my body more closely. I had top surgery four years ago, when I was 20, and it was another major milestone for me.
The hormone blockers dramatically decreased my bleeding during the first two months, and after three months both the bleeding and pain associated with my period came to a complete stop. But, interestingly enough, some pain and discomfort (and a bit of spotting for a little while) started again once I moved onto testosterone a couple of years later. Some trans men do feel pelvic pain even after menstruation stops. (It could be a
Now I am 24 years old, and I haven't bled since I was 19. But I still feel subtle period symptoms—cramps and emotional changes—here and there. Who knew that eight years into my medical transition I would still have period pain? Still, today I can honestly say that I am a lot happier, because my mind and body are in somewhat of an agreement, rather than battling each other. And not for a single second do I miss my period. Monthly periods caused me to feel less in touch with who I really was, so I was happy to see them go.
A period in and of itself can be uncomfortable for any individual, and being transgender adds another emotional layer to that. So I suggest staying aware of how you feel during your periods, even going as far as taking notes (that really helped me). For example, if you know that being in a public space during your period makes you feel uncomfortable, or you just tend to be more aggressive or irritable around this time, then the best thing to do is take note of that so that next time, before you even slip into these emotions, you can counteract them by doing whatever makes you feel good, like practicing your favorite hobby or talking/venting about what you're going through with someone you trust.
Over the years I've realized that it’s silly for me to allow one bodily function to control how I feel about myself. The body you were given was not your choice. And for plenty of people, whether we like it or not, getting a period is just a part of the anatomy you were given.
